jr playing the double violin
at mains d'oeuvres
paris 2002
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Violin World is full of violin stories such as the one you are now reading which went something like . . .
Once upon a time there was a serious crisis amongst violin playing people who, facing the confusing challenges of contemporary music, stumbled upon some radical solutions at a web site which utilized many unorthodox violin images and violin sounds, not to say relative violin courses in innovative violin building of a sort perhaps unfamiliar to the rank and file membership of violin man, or any violinist extraordinaire, vibrating virtuoso, victimised composer of violin music, or valiant violin maker who would be hoping to improve their violin performance and earning potential in the field of violin new music with the possibilities of interactive violin playing which increases the violin power available in the violin bow and for whom a history of the Chinese violin and the contemporary violin, as well as the inferred modern violin tendency for violin pieces of bow and string which go beyond the traditional violin concerto and violin sonata in any violin language whether it be violon, geige, viool, violini, or just plain violin, violin, violin, or even string orchestra, giving rise to a less vexed violin world which focuses on sex and the violin, shopping and the violin, sport and the violin, films about the violin, the electricity producing violin, violin advertising, violin kitsch and violin theme parks, the religion of violins, as well as a centre for violin studies, namely The Rosenberg Museum, including as it does, courses on violin and computers, home-made violins and violin lessons, dedicated to finding where the notes on a violin actually are, maybe to be found within the walls of the said rosenberg museum which is itself a VIOLIN CASE beyond dimensions of time and space as indicated by new and experimental bowing techniques and fingering techniques such as playing all the great fences in Australia, surely a new politically incorrect orthodoxy, for which the interactive bow and the MIDI bow are very useful indeed, taking string theory on the tenor violin to another level, and all strings and string method, the jazz violin, the heavy metal violin, traditional fiddle music, the virtual violin, the classical violin concerto as an improvising conundrum, the violin's relatives, the historically informed violin, the Chinese ten-string double violin, the avant guarde violinist, Paganini's last testimony himself and his pickled penis, and the violin player on HMS Bounty, Mozart in heaven, and J. S. Bach's wife Anna Magdalena who had many sufferings as she said, into the archives of the Pink Violin, the violon d'Ingres, Vivaldi, the wretched Nigel Kennedy, the very sad case of Vanessa Mae, the vacuous Laurie Anderson, and other straight violinists desperate to be fashionable, need I say more except to say that it is time to detonate a violin bomb, the Islamic Violin, then why not do the waltz thing, followed by the last tango, stopping by to hear violin and piano music in other temperaments, play with the toxic violin virus, take a walk with the legendary double piston wheeling violin, followed by a glimpse of Jon Rose notebooks just to make sure of the background to all this, leading to yet another wunderkammer, forced into a suicide plane ride with play it again, Doc, or lost in a snow storm with the last violin...
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